The great tattie experiment etc.

All right you fucking bell-ends? Hows it going. I’ve been right busy lately, amongst other things I’ve been compiling a new blog which I’m tentatively scheduling to go live in the next week or so, depending on how my free time goes. It’s called Kev’s Log Log Blog- and is a semi fictional bowel movement diary of a fully functioning average git. I worked with a Kev once, he was a bit like the character of “Boche” in the wonderful Shellac song “Boche’s Dick”. The Kev that I knew was a rich seam of character ideas. He was a little like a fat Russell Crowe, he also had dullard fingers- a ham fisted bunch of fives like a sprig of Banana’s . Fuck sake min.

I’m on Holiday as it happens. We are down visiting the wife’s folks down in the deepest of deepest Yorkshire. Harrogate to be precise. We stopped overnight in Berwick, it was a bit shit- but I can’t judge the place from a car park, a Morrison’s and a fucking Travelodge. So far though I think I was pretty much right. The place is a bit of an arsehole. Sorry Berwick. Something about Jacobites/Jacobin’s. Fuck off.

Yeah.

Horns/Heart Shaped Box: Joe Hill

When I first got my Kindle I was a bit skint, as usual. I have downloaded a few books from the official Amazon Kindle store, a few from the awesome Project Gutenberg archive/out of print site and quite a lot from torrents. The first book I got hold of from a chap called Joe Hill was “Heart Shaped Box”. I’m a big Nirvana fan- so the title appealed to me, being the same as the first single from Nirvana’s mighty final studio LP “In Utero”. One of the relatively cool things about the Kindle store is that you have the option to try before you buy. Most digital books have a few chapters available as a free sample. This was the case with HSB- so I fired on in and downloaded the sample chapters, and I was drawn in. Its a good wee story, and the initial premise really hooked me. An ageing rockstar ( in my head I imagined this was some sort of mash-up of Cooper/Reznor/Manson etc ) bids on a ghost, and wins. People who review stuff on Amazon tend to get a bit shitty about stuff like this, but for me if you get as far as the first few chapters and haven’t realised that a small amount of suspension of dis-belief might be in order then you might indeed be suffering from a case of the stupid’s.

I enjoyed the book, it was a page turner- and yes, bits of it were a bit lazy- but I really wasn’t looking for literary fiction. So yeah, having found HSB a pretty good yarn I found the follow up on Amazon and gobbled that up as well. Pretty cool book- go and check it out. Total throw away trash by the way, a bit like Stephen King.

Turning to the undisputed American “Master of the Macabre”, Mr. Stephen King- Joe Hill really reminded me of him- all the familiar traits were there- along with the infuriatingly shit endings. Yeah, it turns out JH is SK’s son.

Fucking wowsers.

I’d still say read the books. They are a laugh.

 

SHITTY BUMHOLES.

 

Retrospective word blast relic:

 

 

Today I did a wee bit of digging in the garden. Our Garden is a total fucker of a mess, and I’ve kind of half decided that a good way of cleaning the soil out and getting rid of moss etc is to give the fucker a proper spading and plant potatoes. I know virtually nothing of the dark arts of Gardening. Occasionally I catch a session of gardener’s question time on Radio 4 but that’s about the extent of my knowledge.

I’m not sure of the difference between seed potatoes and normal potatoes. I did a bit of a Google search, and the jist of it seems to be that seed tatties are screeened for disease etc. So I’m going to buy a bag from Tesco, or maybe two- let the bastards sprout and bung them in my freshly cultivated area. And then sit and watch.

I’m sure this will end badly. Next year though, I’m growing Opium.

OPIUM or Tatties? Who knows how the dice will fall.

 

CYLYBOC.

 

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3 thoughts on “The great tattie experiment etc.

  1. Bell Ends, eh? Love it. What does it mean? Always on the market for a new put-down. Really dig your language, mate, and Shellac is one of my all-time favorite bands.

    • Hey Jim- are you any relation to Todd Trainer? Bell-end/bellend is pretty much a Scottish/British put-down as far as I know- I’m going to have a think and put up a little blog post about it. It’s certainly common around Aberdeen anyway- pop it into an everyday conversation and see how it works out!

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