It’s all about embracing the boredom.

I’m finding life VERY boring at the moment. I’m not sure why, possibly I’m not drinking enough booze- that always takes the edge of things. Och Well, the problem with life is at the moment it’s all a bit samey.

Issues. We all have them. I have loads. I pretty much want to kill mostly everyone at the moment.

Work is my main issue, I’m just so fucking bored of it. Obviously it’s bound to be tedious, I mean, I work in the fast paced world of retail. I like to put that on my CV. Just for a laugh. I put “the fast paced world of retail- or a bunch of clueless fuckwits running about like head less chickens achieving very little”, I can’t understand why I get so few interviews.

Mainly I work with a bunch of women. So it’s a nightmare situation of politics and huff throwing.

The actual job is incredibly tedious. Just the same thing over and over again, I don’t even get to piss about on the internet all day like at Pagazzi.

It’s a total fucking skive though. It’s possible to do hardly anything all day without being caught out.

I’m 37 this year. It’s a bit of a worry. Surely by this stage in my life I should have found some sort of career, or better yet a Vocation. I still enjoy the idea of murdering prostitutes and dismembering them. Sadly I had to sell the RAPEVAN. It was really emotional.

It’s a shame that my Alchemy experiments have been fruitless so far. I just fucking gave up man, I was just constantly burning my dainty little fingers.

In other News:

In the last week or so at work they have been fitting a security barrier. It’s really fucking stupid looking. A great big black thing. It’s about waist height, and pretty solid. I was blethering to one of the engineers fitting it, he basically spilled the beans. The folk that own the retail park, I think they are called Hammerson- they are a great big company that own loads of shitty retail parks like Union Square.

I would take a picture on my phone, but my current phone is fucking rubbish. Plus it won’t connect with my laptop at all, it’s that basic.

According to the Engineer gadgey they are fitting similar barriers to all of the properties due to the increased terrorist threat caused by the Olympics. What a pile of shit. The Olympics? A pointless running and jumping festival that I find about as appealing as wanking off a Horse. Anyway, apparently the barrier is capable of stopping a 7.5 Tonne Truck, this fact was deftly probed by one of my favourite delivery drivers- a cocksure Mr. Loverman and Swordsman- he was like- “Fit if I drive a fully laden Artic into it?”- the Engineer looked slightly sheepish and fucked off. Like it helps me. I’m dead if some crazy SNP nutter drives a car into the back of Union Square- I’ll be riddled with shrapnel and shit. Not a glorious death at all.

The new manager at work, Paul is a riot on stuff like this- he used to work in Ireland and has some fucking belting stories about terrorists and the troubles. I think he finds the whole security barrier caper slightly amusing. SEMTEX, I read a fair bit about the whole Irish thing at University, much like American History I found it totally boring. I just couldn’t engage with it on any level. I think the Irish like fighting, and they pass it down through the generations like some sort of sick family heirloom. Likewise I find the whole Glaswegian (unwashed belt) enthusiasm for glib sectarian violence affiliated with football a  total non-event as well. Yawn.

Dig a big pit, fill it with lime and purge them all I say.

Where was I?

I’m going to go and give the bairn a bath now, I might have a shit later on. Check my Facebook news feed for further details if you give that much of a fuck.

Also I’m getting slightly pissed off with Amazon. Where the fuck is the new SPIRITUALIZED cd? -Estimated delivery date was fucking Friday. Don’t tell me it’s because Aberdeen is classed as the fucking Highlands of Scotland.


blah de blah. Some dozy cunt delivery driver dropped a parcel off at work. It’s nae for Hobbycraft, it’s for some guy in Tillydrone. It’s a 21 litre home brew wine making kit. I’ll be phoning up the Moral Maze on Radio 4 to try and decide what the best course of action is. I’d like to keep it, but I might go to hell. CityLink need to get in touch with British Gas and get sorted out with some arse and elbow stickers. The total fannies.


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