Hello, I’m right good at reviewing music. There are two kinds of music- GOOD and SHITE. Here is my verdict on some stuff I’ve been listening to- with obligatory qualification and waffle after the verdict- I see myself as a semi-gonzoid reviewer and this may bore certain readers. If in doubt, ignore my putrid two finger keyboard bashing and just play the fucking music yeah?
Most of this stuff I’ve just been listening to on my laptop- my iphone is too full of podcasts and pictures of myself to fit anymore music on it. Such is my life, anyway I read recently that downloads of music are slowly decreasing year on year, like for like- so by streaming I’m actually following the trend. I’m like WILL.A.ISNAE except my name isnae Wullie.
First up a split download. That’s like a split EP, except there’s no physical product. I’m fine with that, I’m holding out till that curmudgeonly old fucker Neil Young unleashes his amusingly titled audiophile digital format PONO, or PORNO or BONER or whatever he’s calling it. MP3 files are never that good, awfully splashy-sploshy around those tricky high frequencies. Not that I’m that arsed you understand, I was massively into a Peel session of My Bloody Valentine that I recorded live onto tape as it went out- played it to death- when I finally got my hands on the bands actual studio records I was REALLY let down. Deflated, I was. So format means nowt. A killer song or wide open NEW SOUND means a lot. Like the newly thin twat singer from Brit-Pop also ran’s Kaiser Chiefs often says before he disnae spin his chair round on the Voice- “it’s about a feeling, about a hairs going up on the back of the neck moment”…..what he means is-”I didnae like it, because just before the chorus nobody went whoooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaa!”. He’s called Ricky or something. He’s deffo on the bellend spectrum, up near the middle- the purple/puce bit- like a positive Cancer slide.