Key image. THIS ONE. The Forest Gate. 

We’ve driven past it, seen the signs- “sculpture at the tyrebagger”…mysterious. My brain runs a different way, so I had always imagined the sculpture in question was actually made of old tyres, like a big bulbous and bloated Michelin man. all the tyres- from bike, through car, right up to tractor for the paunchy midrift. Not so. But it was still a guid off tangent walk, made all the better by discarding the mere one hour walk of the red route ( labour OUT) and going totally off the scale and wandering right round the hill.

We fired out and landed in the car park. Now I’ve obviously been there before. but never made it beyond the car park, not sure why, when or walloper. But the whole place looked vaugely familiar. Maybe I’ve conjured it in dreams. maybe I’ve travelled there in those blank moments at work when I just drift off when some daft fucker is asking me about something crafty


The kids, as high gain as they are on a weekend are really quite easily amused by a long walk. As this was new terrain, and I was unsure of the outcome I made the prudent investment of filling up the two (pink and blue natch) water bottles just in case things went on and on. Guid move by me. I usually have a heap of fruit in my bag- this time I was reduced to two oranges, no takers on the slog, but fuck it.

RED ROUTE or Blue Route the sign in the car park said. RED was an hour, Blue circa half that- and blue was better for young kids. So the blue route got shit canned pretty quick. The kids will walk all the way from here to Seaton park with very little fucks given.

Aberdeen Labour: Making it happen. or something.

Finally got a local election leaflet the other day, and yeah, it was okay. I’ve read it and although it’s a tad post-truth, at least its not barking on about preventing another divisive indyrendum. No cunt knocked at the door though, would have liked a chat. probably something to do with the SNP stuff hanging in the windows.

I’ve had zip from from anybody else, no UKIP etc. but the wife keeps throwing them out. BECAUSE SHES A TYPICAL NATIONALIST.

Broadband change over day. 

24th April 2017.

Haha! It went relatively glitch free….. 

I had planned to get up early and plug in the new router, but failed. Stayed up to late finishing Re reading Iain Banks- dead air, which I enjoyed a lot more this time. I slowly came too to the sounds of the wife and kids realising that the bt router had lost service. Now in my head I expected the Vodafone service to maybe start working and drop off throughout the day as mysterious cable engineers worked on the new service or something, but no, plugged in router, my stuff worked immediately as I’d already set up the pass word etc whilst checking out what brilliant flashy lights the new router had in comparison to the old bt one. Likewise all the kids equipment, two tablets and mckenzies android phone. All working fine. Sweet hand over. But let’s just see. The speed seems fine, and mckenzie reported his you tube was working much faster, although ask a kid a leading question get a distorted answer. He’s probably havering shite. 

Still due a final bill from bt, but I assume they will send me that via E mail so I never again have to navigate their appallingly clunky and mis directing website. Also I’ll loose the bt Internet E mail address I hardly ever use. Seems a fair trade like. 

No moaning so far about the speed of the home network from the parasites. But obviously I’ll see how it all works out. 

As ever. 

Looking at local election issues.


How time flies . It seems it’s been five years since the last local Elections, and this time round instead of treating the whole circus with hissing contempt, I’m going to do a wee bit of research. I’m at at it right now.

Currently I’ve had ZERO election literature through the letter box, which is disappointing, but maybe our street is little known and hard to find. I’m sure all parties will eventually get round to us. I do so hate to be uninformed

As a starting point I have discovered which ward I’m in, this involved hunting for the polling cards under all the crap, mail, crap, kids creations from nursery and other crap that piles up in the windowsill of the porch.

Screenshot from 2017-04-10 23-18-11

National Front? YALDY! I should crop that a bit, it’s a bit hard to read- Hang fire whilst I fire up GIMP, wait for it to crash, log out, then restart the hulking desktop. ETC.

and UKIP!!!! fucking brilliant! who would have thought they could round up 500 quid between them. But, if they come out as one of the guid guys on that important issue I’ll let the casual racism slide.




Okay, why? well I was reading a blog post and the jist of it was it was far from clear cut what each individual candidate thought about the forthcoming Independence referendum II- ( INDYRENDUM)

So, I’m going to use the newspaper articles I have access to, twitter and facebook, and GOOGLE to see what I can gather. Perhaps I’ll give some sort of preference to the National Front guy if he’s supportive of independence. It’s all about ranking the fuckers.

I’m pretty sure the national front guy is a special like that Peter Dow fanny. But a voice for indy is a voice for indy. Buggers cannae be chuggers.

BREXIT BEE_TEE. Moving broadband etc.



-they have no right to get in yer’ face now. It’s bloody funny.

A whiley back I switched Gas and Electric suppliers. Which worked out fine, like- I moved from Scottish HYDRO ( or something, it was green and yallah logo wise) to getting all the magic stuff from the ENGLISH DEFENCE LEAGUE, which is basically the same magic power juice and the farts that power the boiler thing under the house that makes IT TOO FUCKING HOT, OR TOO FUCKING COLD.

About a year ago I ditched O2 for Virgin mobile wise, and scored a big phone little phone combo. Barnacles.

So I digitally ditched BT for Vodafone. ‘Mazin. The switch-over is later this month. New router, same fibre-optic super fast line, nae doubt. I’ll see how it all pans out. BT was the guts of SIXTY BUCK a month. 17 quids of it was line rental. V-PHONEY is just the same speed (so they say) and the land-line has no line rental. Just four bucks for the evening weekend package. WALLOP.

Totes would have preferred that Virgin mega fast deal, with Virgin TV box walloper, but THEY WOULDN’T CABLE MY STREET.

I know, a bloody outrage cage.

Suspicious? Yes. Another grudge to bare at the neighbours I suppose- so shouldn’t GIRN.

BEE-TEE did send me a sadface boo-hoo letter and matching e-mail about it all. I’ve drawn a cock on it and i’m going to twat them directly on the blue place where you cannae type as much that’s nae facebork.


Overall I’m remarkably positive about a positive outcome. I’ve seen the bill, the final bill and it’s nae too bad. five bucks more than usual. Still get the feeling BEE-TEA have been ripping me off for line rental for aeons.

as per,


where to start min? WAR WAAAR. Engerland is sharting itself to death.

This whole BREXIT thing is getting fucking silly now, WAR with Spain over that rock with the monkeys on it, (that whole thing I thought was some bizarre joke) and blistering JOY from the Engerland on finally taking it’s passports back. JESUS.

On the plus side it reminded me that I need to re-new my Passport as it’s expiring, so prompt wise the screaming of the YOONZ has served some sort of positive productive action in my life.

Silly situation though. Sometimes when you wake up, it’s hard to get a handle on stuff, particularly at the moment. I’m not complaining- it really is a fascinating time to be living through. Sometimes, it’s hard to fathom what people are really, really thinking though. So much static, so much traffic passing metres from each other in opposite lanes.

The silent majority also gives me much cause for thought.

The sheer hubris of ruth davidson playing to the gallery down south.

the pillory of that nice man from the greens

ALSO: remember how this absolute stupidity started: DC and the threat of fucking UKIP. absolute ball bags.

Hitting up hazlehead park for a change.

A slosh of days off.

I’m still tinkering with this obv. refoff. snp bad. howling yoons.

Surprise holiday wallop. pretty good, at the moment my current schedule is four days a week- three quite long days and a slightly shorter day. It’s kind of acceptable. I get three days off a week, and the cherished bonus of a wife/kid/back-up kid free day for doing household tasks and pootering about looking vacant. Sometimes I go for a walk, and forget to take my camera with me. As I often say, pure beasting stuff. So aye I’m off now, and that gives me a few days of free time. Well free-ish time. I’m going to be mainly gardening I reckon, with my headphones on. Crucially I’ll tuck the headphone lead inside my jumper to avoid snipping through the cable. Been there, done that, lesson learned.

the Scottish Parliament finished it all off today after the events of the ither day.

No doubt I’ll be watching or indeed listening with interest as the  Indyrendum  or refoff débâcle unfolds. It’s ratcheting up slowly and surely, and what with today’s passing of the vote to ask that nice TMPM of little Engerland (that green and unpleasant land full of demented racialists etc) for power to hold another dividey divisive vote. last time was all shades of shitstorm fun. I did well though, think only one dopey cunt un-friended me on facebook, mainly I suspect because they were cowed by my powerful arguments and fearsomely convincing rhetoric. Either that or he didn’t like me sharing this particular track, which really summed up the whole indyref debate in my book.


Gardening is also divisive and dangerous. I’ve taken to self harming just for the buzz. It takes the pain of slaving in retail away a little, and brings me some peace of mind in difficult times.